Listen to me, part one
I’ve got a story which will try to cover the last seven years, and the last seven months of the last seven years. Many people love numbers, and love to associate certain numbers with Scripture. I don’t know what that’s all about. I never heard Christ do that, or those of His people when they spoke or wrote in the Scriptures. I don’t do that. I just tell it like it is, or was. There are things that need to be looked at for those of us in a trial. I don’t even know if my trial is yet completely over, but when suffering the big stuff, I was in enough of a whirlwind to make things extremely spiritually dangerous.
Like the time when I believed I was under the curses mentioned in Deuteronomy 28. That happened because I didn’t know enough about reading and knowing Scripture properly, and because of everything that was happening at that time.
Let’s start by going to the chapter and reading through some of those curses, or judgements…
These are the curses, or judgements against Israel for disobedience. Now remember, they were living under the Law, not Grace at the time these curses were given:
Curses on Disobedience
15 “But it shall come to pass, if you do not obey the voice of the Lord your God, to observe carefully all His commandments and His statutes which I command you today, that all these curses will come upon you and overtake you:
16 “Cursed shall you be in the city, and cursed shall you be in the country.
17 “Cursed shall be your basket and your kneading bowl.
18 “Cursed shall be the fruit of your body and the produce of your land, the increase of your cattle and the offspring of your flocks.
19 “Cursed shall you be when you come in, and cursed shall you be when you go out.
20 “The Lord will send on you cursing, confusion, and rebuke in all that you set your hand to do, until you are destroyed and until you perish quickly, because of the wickedness of your doings in which you have forsaken Me. 21 The Lord will make the plague cling to you until He has consumed you from the land which you are going to possess. 22 The Lord will strike you with consumption, with fever, with inflammation, with severe burning fever, with the sword, with scorching, and with mildew; they shall pursue you until you perish. 23 And your heavens which are over your head shall be bronze, and the earth which is under you shall be iron.24 The Lord will change the rain of your land to powder and dust; from the heaven it shall come down on you until you are destroyed.
25 “The Lord will cause you to be defeated before your enemies; you shall go out one way against them and flee seven ways before them; and you shall become troublesome to all the kingdoms of the earth. 26 Your carcasses shall be food for all the birds of the air and the beasts of the earth, and no one shall frighten them away. 27 The Lord will strike you with the boils of Egypt, with tumors, with the scab, and with the itch, from which you cannot be healed. 28 The Lord will strike you with madness and blindness and confusion of heart. 29 And you shall grope at noonday, as a blind man gropes in darkness; you shall not prosper in your ways; you shall be only oppressed and plundered continually, and no one shall save you.
30 “You shall betroth a wife, but another man shall lie with her; you shall build a house, but you shall not dwell in it; you shall plant a vineyard, but shall not gather its grapes. 31 Your ox shall be slaughtered before your eyes, but you shall not eat of it; your donkey shall be violently taken away from before you, and shall not be restored to you; your sheep shall be given to your enemies, and you shall have no one to rescue them. 32 Your sons and your daughters shall be given to another people, and your eyes shall look and fail with longing for them all day long; and there shall be no strength in your hand. 33 A nation whom you have not known shall eat the fruit of your land and the produce of your labor, and you shall be only oppressed and crushed continually. 34 So you shall be driven mad because of the sight which your eyes see.35 The Lord will strike you in the knees and on the legs with severe boils which cannot be healed, and from the sole of your foot to the top of your head.
36 “The Lord will bring you and the king whom you set over you to a nation which neither you nor your fathers have known, and there you shall serve other gods—wood and stone. 37 And you shall become an astonishment, a proverb, and a byword among all nations where the Lord will drive you.
38 “You shall carry much seed out to the field but gather little in, for the locust shall consume it. 39 You shall plant vineyards and tend them, but you shall neither drink of the wine nor gather the grapes; for the worms shall eat them. 40 You shall have olive trees throughout all your territory, but you shall not anoint yourself with the oil; for your olives shall drop off.41 You shall beget sons and daughters, but they shall not be yours; for they shall go into captivity. 42 Locusts shall consume all your trees and the produce of your land.
43 “The alien who is among you shall rise higher and higher above you, and you shall come down lower and lower. 44 He shall lend to you, but you shall not lend to him; he shall be the head, and you shall be the tail.
45 “Moreover all these curses shall come upon you and pursue and overtake you, until you are destroyed, because you did not obey the voice of the Lord your God, to keep His commandments and His statutes which He commanded you. 46 And they shall be upon you for a sign and a wonder, and on your descendants forever.
47 “Because you did not serve the Lord your God with joy and gladness of heart, for the abundance of everything, 48 therefore you shall serve your enemies, whom the Lord will send against you, in hunger, in thirst, in nakedness, and in need of everything; and He will put a yoke of iron on your neck until He has destroyed you. 49 The Lord will bring a nation against you from afar, from the end of the earth, as swift as the eagle flies, a nation whose language you will not understand, 50 a nation of fierce countenance, which does not respect the elderly nor show favor to the young. 51 And they shall eat the increase of your livestock and the produce of your land, until you are destroyed; they shall not leave you grain or new wine or oil, or the increase of your cattle or the offspring of your flocks, until they have destroyed you.
52 “They shall besiege you at all your gates until your high and fortified walls, in which you trust, come down throughout all your land; and they shall besiege you at all your gates throughout all your land which the Lord your God has given you. 53 You shall eat the fruit of your own body, the flesh of your sons and your daughters whom the Lord your God has given you, in the siege and desperate straits in which your enemy shall distress you. 54 The sensitive and very refined man among you will be hostile toward his brother, toward the wife of his bosom, and toward the rest of his children whom he leaves behind, 55 so that he will not give any of them the flesh of his children whom he will eat, because he has nothing left in the siege and desperate straits in which your enemy shall distress you at all your gates. 56 The tender and delicate woman among you, who would not venture to set the sole of her foot on the ground because of her delicateness and sensitivity, will refuse[a] to the husband of her bosom, and to her son and her daughter, 57 her placenta which comes out from between her feet and her children whom she bears; for she will eat them secretly for lack of everything in the siege and desperate straits in which your enemy shall distress you at all your gates.
58 “If you do not carefully observe all the words of this law that are written in this book, that you may fear this glorious and awesome name, THE LORD YOUR GOD, 59 then the Lord will bring upon you and your descendants extraordinary plagues—great and prolonged plagues—and serious and prolonged sicknesses. 60 Moreover He will bring back on you all the diseases of Egypt, of which you were afraid, and they shall cling to you. 61 Also every sickness and every plague, which is not written in this Book of the Law, will the Lord bring upon you until you are destroyed. 62 You shall be left few in number, whereas you were as the stars of heaven in multitude, because you would not obey the voice of the Lord your God. 63 And it shall be, thatjust as the Lord rejoiced over you to do you good and multiply you, so the Lord will rejoice over you to destroy you and bring you to nothing; and you shall be plucked from off the land which you go to possess.
64 “Then the Lord will scatter you among all peoples, from one end of the earth to the other, and there you shall serve other gods, which neither you nor your fathers have known—wood and stone. 65 And among those nations you shall find no rest, nor shall the sole of your foot have a resting place; but there the Lord will give you a trembling heart, failing eyes, and anguish of soul. 66 Your life shall hang in doubt before you; you shall fear day and night, and have no assurance of life. 67 In the morning you shall say, ‘Oh, that it were evening!’ And at evening you shall say, ‘Oh, that it were morning!’ because of the fear which terrifies your heart, and because of the sight which your eyes see.
68 “And the Lord will take you back to Egypt in ships, by the way of which I said to you, ‘You shall never see it again.’ And there you shall be offered for sale to your enemies as male and female slaves, but no one will buy you.
Verse 16: Cursed shall you be in the city, and cursed shall you be in the country.
In the beginning of my trial, I can tell you that’s exactly what happened to me. If I was out, I had to leave a sick husband who should never have been left. I was the only one available to do our shopping. He has a brain sickness. Nobody would help us with it. We were abandoned in our greatest need. So I assumed the Lord had us both under His wrath.
It gets worse.
Cursed in the country. Well, I live in a village. We are cut off from everywhere unless I take the train out to the local town. If I can’t get out, then I can’t get anything done. While hubby was still able, he used to plant the garden out with veggies and fruit. But things went horribly wrong in that garden, and the crops were constantly besieged by insects and birds; the worm; blight. You name it. The crops he brought in for me to use for our food were only good for the bin. I couldn’t use anything as it was either rotted, or so small, my hands couldn’t peel the skins off! Folks, when you have no one, this gets into your psyche and starts to destroy you from the inside.
I once went out shopping and fell on my arthritic knee. Things like this happened daily, or almost daily. I began to have a very warped version of what ‘love’ was supposed to be, especially when all things happen for your good kept coming up in conversation. You know that Scripture from Romans 8! Well, if all this is for good, it certainly wasn’t for mine, was my assumption. I was hurting and very, very angry, by now. My days were filled with people’s platitudes, and yes, from believers as well, that it all became too much.
I couldn’t cope any more.
Things went from bad to worse and little did I know how many years of this I still had left to go!
20 “The Lord will send on you cursing, confusion, and rebuke in all that you set your hand to do, until you are destroyed and until you perish quickly, because of the wickedness of your doings in which you have forsaken Me.”
Yes. It all happened. What did I do? I started thinking about when I was a baby and how the fact that my life was saved from terrible sickness was, in fact, me fighting the Lord, and disobeying Him when I should have died. I’m serious, folks. I’m not joking. This is how bad things got.
21 The Lord will make the plague cling to you until He has consumed you from the land which you are going to possess.
Have you ever lived with a brain sickness suffered by someone you love? I’m telling you the truth that for some of us, we are literally living with, and being forced to live with, madness, 24 hours a day. That’s the beginning of it.
The sick person will not acknowledge their sickness. Not because they are being difficult, or intending to deceive – they literally do not know they are sick. So, because in my country, the health service has virtually been thrown in the bin, patients go down the tubes with it. Nobody copes any more. Families are now called carers, not husbands and wives. It’s a dangerous and demeaning situation. Demeaning? Let’s just have a look at that word: it means: “causing someone to lose their dignity and the respect of others.”
I would add a bit more to the official definition – you have no meaning. Which builds into: you have no relevance. Which builds into: you are devalued, or not worth saving. Expendable, in other words. I knew that was me. I knew it for years. I knew it long years before the trial even began, so that word expendable was nothing new. The trial, and all its twists and turns confirmed me being expendable.
Imagine: you don’t show up at a Christian blog and write anything for weeks or months, and nobody comes to ask: where da heck are you? or, Are you still in the faith? Been through it all, folks.
You start going to a church and are delighted your prayer has been answered! Until two people come over intentionally to knock you off your perch, and they don’t even know you. You are a grown person but are treated like an unbecoming child.
Yup. Been there too. It was all a part of it.
I’ve lived where I do for almost 20 years. Are people intentionally blind when they see someone going through desperation? I have to answer yes, as, when did anyone ever offer to at least take me down to the train station a mile away from my doorstep when they have seen me with my wheelchair, or walker? No. there’s no such thing as help when you’re suffering, folks. Don’t expect it. Expect to be destroyed from the inside.
Unless you’ve got the nous to hold onto Christ. If you don’t, you’ll fall. You will fall, and fall badly. For God’s sake, HOLD ON to Him. You can’t not. You dare not fall away. You dare not.
Do you hear me?
More in the next page. I haven’t finished with Deuteronomy yet.