Praise report 3

Listen to me, part three

How would you feel?

You’ve had yet another conversation with your Mum over the phone. She’s a Christian; you’re still fighting! Little do you realise that Christ is going to start digging into your soul this very night. Little do you realise He’s going to start sorting you out. Little do you know that your cold, dead heart is going to begin living again.

Little do you know…

Mum read me something out of Matthew’s Gospel. I wish with all of my heart I could remember what she’d read. It might have been significant! The Lord, however, had something on His mind that would not wait any longer. You know when you get an itch to do something? It just will not go away, but whatever you need to do to scratch that itch just has to be done. It’s either a phone call you need to make; a visit to someone; an apology, or something you need to do for work or to help someone you know. Or to be drawn to read a Scripture Christ has set before you. Whatever it is, you need to scratch that itch.

You remember it says that there’s rejoicing in Heaven over one sinner who repents? Well, the Lord must have said to all the angels something like: “Watch this!”. And Heaven could have heard a pin drop.

“Nah. Come ON, Lord! You KNOW you won’t get that one to hear You.” Then someone else pipes up: “Hang on, Lord. How are You going to make that happen? She’s been fighting You for years.”

Satan pipes up: “Hah! I’d like to see You try it!”

God isn’t fazed, folks. He’s strong. He can do anything. Haven’t you heard? Nothing is too hard for the Lord. Just read what happened to Abraham and Sarah! Was there anything too hard for Him then? No. They had a son, and that was the beginning of the promise God made to Abraham when He blessed him. And don’t even THINK of forgetting Melchizedek! He met with Abraham and Abraham promised him a tithe of all he had. Read it. It’s fascinating đŸ˜€ All in Genesis. No. You find it! It’s in Genesis, all right?

So anyway, night time arrived. It’s October in England. I now no longer consider my birthday as the day I was born as I have a new date: October 17th when our Saviour grabbed me by the scruff of my rebellious neck and drew me to Him and His truth. He did it slowly and with great care as He knew what had happened to me over my lifetime. To have that much evil done against a person for so long can brutalise you until you go cold and actually have no emotions. You just don’t care any more. I was so dead inside that I even had to ask for my tears to be returned to me. I’m still not a crier. It’s very, very difficult to get me crying. I act like a bloke, quite honestly. Someone who lives by: ‘Tears show you are weak. Be strong. DO NOT CRY.’

Honestly. We treat tears as a great evil. I did it for a good 30 years. I stopped feeling anything. I switched off all natural emotion. Oh, I could laugh and have a wind-up. I could get angry and feel great hatred, but I could not, WOULD NOT, cry.

End of.

So the Lord had to do something about it. And boy, did He make me squirm. Dear oh dear. And man, was it painful. Physically. Spiritually. All of it. I suffered. Was He angry with me? Probably! How do I know? I haven’t been told one way or the other yet. In recent weeks, while Christ was working on my deliverance, he showed me a lot of stuff, and told me to read Exodus where Moses and Aaron were called to deliver Israel. Go ahead. You read it too. And Job. Read Job! Really. It’ll draw all this together for you as it did for me.

Read how Christ healed people and how He did it. But take in the fact that each person SUFFERED for various amounts of time before they were instantly healed. Take notice of the time each person suffered. That’s what we need to remember. Before deliverance comes, there is a time of suffering. That is how we begin to understand trials. There is a time to suffer and a time to be delivered from suffering. We live in a space called Time. The Lord lives in a space called Eternity. He speaks, it happens. That’s how the world was made, and everything in it. We pray, and we can pray for ages. Years. We see no evidence our prayer has been heard. It’s because we live in Time. We cannot speak and see things happen because we are mortal, not eternal. It matters and it helps us deal with that thing called faith!

We must have faith to believe in everything! In the Lord’s love; grace; patience; in His healing; deliverance; in his Help. We have to trust Him to be that strong tower we run into to be made safe. We just have to believe in it folks.

We just have to believe.

So why, when I believed, after He grabbed me by the scruff of my rebellious neck, did I not even get a chance to prepare for my trial and great suffering? Why was I left to learn as I went, and to make dreadful, horrible mistakes? Why was I left to believe I was under His wrath? I could make guesses, but that wouldn’t help any of us. All I do know is that He has His ways, I have mine, and none of them match His greatness. I am still His, He is still mine. I am not overthrown, and I don’t know why He bothers with me. I truly don’t. But without Him, there would have been no point to any of the trial, which started with me getting very sick while I had to care for my husband, all alone when he got very sick. I was the one left to feel like a kicked dog every day.

I was the one who ended up saying to God, “Why must I live like this? If I’m a dead dog; bury me. Don’t keep kicking me. There’s no sense in it.”

That’s how hurt I became. I did hurt, and now am very close to tears. My God, My God. What are You doing? Is there someone else who needs comforting? Here I am. Use me.


About tellthetruth1

The blog site is up and running. Please feel free to visit if you want to know the Lord. I treasure His Scriptures and pray you do, also. I've been a Christian since October 2009. The Lord saved me that month and has led me through many things in life. The one thing I adore Him for is bringing me the Light of Salvation and for forgiving me my wickedness.
This entry was posted in Bible, Fearfully and wonderfully made, Life, Look up, Salvation, The love of God, Wisdom, Worship and tagged , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to Praise report 3

  1. Rebecca says:

    God bless you today. I mean that from the bottom of my heart.

  2. tellthetruth1 says:

    I know you do, Rebecca, and I thank you from the bottom of MY heart! This page relates to October 2009. In that year, I had one glorious night in the beginning of my redemption where I just revelled – wallowed, in the Lord’s love for me. But I had absolutely no idea of what was coming. In one Scripture reading, I saw: “Don’t be surprised at the fiery trial which is to try you”, from 1 Peter 4:12. It WAS strange for me. It was the most horrible, horrific time. I didn’t need fright nights on TV, Rebecca. I was living it, day after day from the moment it all started. The times I thought there was going to be a breakthrough ended up being the worst disappointments and heartaches that should never fall on anyone.

    All of the dealing with sickness; the way I was treated at church that awful day; the platitudes and total lack of understanding. The abandonment; the cruel, empty promises, along with threats that in the end, moved me to stop asking for anything. It killed prayer life. It did dreadful things to me because I was so alone. Then, all the false teaching on top of all that, that I had to flee from. All in all, it was a seven-year nightmare I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy if I ever should have one.

    I WAS shocked. Frightened. Angry. All of the bad things we feel when things are not going our way. But in the end, I was shown a lot of things, like how Christ suffered because of my own evil sins. Then, like I’ve related in the story, the Scriptures he told me to read. Yes, it’s a frightening history, but it’s also an amazing story because He never left me. Never. He kept prompting me in various ways, even when things were so black I wanted to give up. That was something the Lord would just not allow. And now, all I can do is look at the whole thing with shocked amazement. I’m amazed because He pulled me through it all. I’m amazed because He has never turned away from me. I’m amazed that He loves me. That DOES bring me very close to tears whenever it hits me. That He loves me. And that’s what I want to get over to everyone else who may come here. The Lord is not for turning. He has no shadow of turning, just like we are told in Scripture. It is for us to stay as close to Him as we can. Even when life is too hard to live it; just stay close to Christ. Sometimes, that is all we can do. And that has to sometimes, just be enough for us. God bless you, my precious one. Thank you for your visit and comment.

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