In today’s religion; the one I see as 21st Century ‘Christianity’: it’s as if we’re just not meant to suffer. Honestly. You couldn’t make it up.
If anyone is facing a real trial that will take their home and other extravagances from them; should they voice it to anyone and really spoil their day, or should they go it alone and not bother anyone? You know – if we voice these things that happen to us we’re usually held down as negative thinkers, instead of positive.
I mean, really! Like, in my case. I’m almost £1,300 in debt over care charges. This will probably end up even worse as I expect my claim for ESA to fail. Something will go wrong with it. When it does, instead of bringing my husband out of care and becoming his murderer – I would rather give up this property; have all my claims closed, bar my husband’s income. It’s the only way out for me that I can see, as again, just as when hubby lived with me – no one wants to help or advise. Only buck-passing is available. Sorry, I just haven’t got the time for any more of it.
Look, folks – what am I supposed to do? Am I supposed to ‘magic up’ some kind of miracle, pretending that ‘something nice will happen’ (when it’s already been obvious for seven long years that it won’t), so that others don’t have to be burdened, or bored to death with my trials? Or do I cope alone, telling no one about any of it, and walk away, if I have to, to save a person’s life?
We’re supposed to die to ourselves. We’re supposed to follow Christ. That includes me. So, what am I supposed to do? Make up some fluffy comment to “cheer everybody up”? Or am I supposed to do all I can do to lay down my life for another?
Of course it’s hard. Of course I won’t like having to live without a roof, if that’s what ends up happening. But if it does, I won’t be the only one it’s happened to. And why should anyone pretend it really matters that much?
Comfort, or Christianity. Which one should I choose? That’s all I need to know, for crying out loud. Plus the encouragement to get on with it. Sorry to blatter on, but a phone call tonight, yet again, filled me with “grrrrrrr!!!” noises.