Five years of living with derangement and disaster/destruction. Having to live alone with it, and it’s taken its toll. Trying to read up on the situation so I’m prepared for everything. But, when ‘everything’ happens, who can possibly be prepared for it?
If someone writes a book or a page on a medical issue, they’re not getting their knowledge from Scripture. So, I’m having to read stuff from unbelievers, most of the time. That’s only one of a million-strong army set against me. I’m not coping well.
You’ll see, on my “About” page on here how the Lord gave this precious place back to me. Although when the pain is hitting hard, I cannot write or share much, and that can last up to months at a time. Thank God, WordPress is ALWAYS here and I can come in and read any time I like.
I want Christian company. You’ll think this funny, but you need to be thankful that you do live either hundreds, or thousands of miles away from me, because if you thought you wanted to be a part of my life, believe me, you don’t.
Apart from seeing my home destroyed, and waking up to disaster after disaster, life goes on. It’s not good, but it goes on.
I read Scripture. I have a daily reading plan from Bible Gateway, which keeps me focused. I watch a team of pastors online so I can hear preaching. Forget the TV evangelists: I want the likes of Tim Conway; Paul Washer; Charles Leiter; James Jennings; and so on.
They are good men, full of the Holy Spirit. I don’t know where I’d be if they didn’t stuff their sermons online any more!
This morning, I got up and who the hell knows how long the hot tap had been running? The place stunk of hot metal. I hope the boiler’s all right!
Other times, it’s gas I can smell. Or animal filth, or whatever it’s going to be for that day. And I hit my head against the wall. Again.
To get rid of the frustration!
Don’t worry. That’s a common denominator for those of us living with dementia! When you’re alone, it comes a bit harder to deal with.
How do you care for someone who has it? You can’t. They won’t let you. So a lot of food gets wasted; you’re constantly wondering what to cook. And I cannot even list the rest of it. It’s too bloody early!
Sorry, folks, but you did ask. Today started, yet again, with disaster. I should be used to it now, after five years of it. But you never get used to it.
And then, there are the hard Scriptures I have to deal with.
They come next time.